Energetically Speaking
I’m a physics junky, who’s currently been overthinking how energy works in the universe at large, and in the context of Executive Coaching, how it affects leaders and the companies they steward. It started when I was reflecting back on the last 1 ½ years of my life, during which I’ve been under absurd amounts of stress and upheaval. I meditate twice daily, and my soulmate dog, Napoleon King Puff Davis, typically comes and sits next to me as I start meditating. I always hold one of his paws and we meditate together. Anytime I’m near him, I viscerally feel my stress dissipate. And in the recent past, the magnitude of that stress has been massive. The overthinking started when I realized that Naps got cancer twice in the last year, on two of his legs, that I hold the paws of twice a day, when I’m feeling crazy-high amounts of stress, which his existence alleviates for me each time I hold his paw. Yes, I know. That was a run-on sentence. But it’s how it played out in my mind.
We all know from Physics 101 that energy does not disappear, it simply transforms. Did I literally plant my stress into tumors that formed on my dog’s legs? Perhaps that’s a little loony toons, and slightly extreme, but it’s what set off my focus on the energy I’m emanating. In what ways am I potentially affecting things outside of myself, simply through my expression of energy?
Then I started to think of the application of energy in the context of leadership. In what ways does a leader’s energy affect the company and people they’re leading? What’s a leader’s responsibility to manage the energy they infuse into their companies? In what way can they be better stewards of their energy?
If you’re questioning whether energy can be felt, this might help. Some of us are empaths, and can feel the emotions of others as though they are their own. But even for those not as tuned into others, almost everyone has been creeped out by someone before, or filled with the joy of infectious laughter or had the energy sucked out of them by a person. Our emotions can affect others significantly, whether we’re conscious of it or not. There are tricks of the trade to learn how to protect yourself from soaking up other’s emotions. However, regardless of one’s level of empathy, I haven’t spoken to anyone in the past year that does not feel the collective stress and anxiety surrounding the state of our country. It’s palpable. The certain awareness that others can feel what we feel stopped me in my tracks. I already knew it intellectually, but this time the message struck me in a profound knowing kind of way. The tricks of the trade need to go much further than self-protection. They need to expand into conscious energy management — mindfully choosing what kind of energy and emotions we’re feeding our team and company, and out to the world at large.
During my Executive Coaching certification program with The Hudson Institute, much of the curriculum and experiences surrounded the concept of “Self as Coach”. The idea is that you can’t expect a client to go there if you won’t go there yourself as a coach. That means being aware of your own shadows and bringing them out into the light (and then dealing with them versus inflicting their effect on others). One of my shadows is playing out worst case scenarios in my head. I’m extremely good at it, if I do say so myself. I can project every possible thing that can go wrong and play it out in my mind with Oscar-worthy performance quality. The emotions attached to those internal movies are as real as those you’d feel in the flesh. It’s kind of like when you have one of those dreams that feels SO real that it basically IS real in its effect. You can’t shake it the entire next day (or longer) as though it actually happened. It hit me that I can’t allow my thoughts and emotions to run awry unsupervised. They are not just in my head. They are taking neutral energy and transforming it into anxious energy. Not ok.
After getting slightly mortified about how much anxiety I was exuding to the world, I flipped the coin over, and there found a great opportunity. If I can take neutral energy and transform it to anxious energy, I can just as easily take neutral energy and transform it into positive energy — peace, happiness, joy and passion. How amazing is that!!?? I’m not suggesting that you fake being happy and calm when you’re not. Leadership can be one of the most stressful roles a person fills. But we do have a choice about how we react to life, and we certainly have a choice about how we play out the movies in our mind. As one of my favorite humans on earth Brene Brown, says “We simply cannot know joy without embracing vulnerability — and the way to do that is to focus on gratitude, not fear.” We can extrapolate that out to focusing on gratitude when we catch ourselves disaster planning in our minds.
As a leader, what energy do you bring to your team and your company? When you walk into your office, are you open, engaged, accessible, or shut down, going a million miles a minute or in your head? If you were able to manage your energy to project it in the way you wanted to, what would it look like, and what do you expect the results might be?
If you’re thinking this whole idea of managing your energy is easier said than done, here is a roadmap.
· First off, simply become aware. What emotions are you present to? What thoughts are in your mind? How does your body feel? Do you have your own mind performances playing out worst case scenarios? Are you always on high alert? Are you outwardly focused or inwardly focused? Do you walk around with your head up or head down? You can even ask some of your team members for input on how they experience you and your energy.
· Depending on the gems of information you glean from that awareness, are you comfortable with how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking? If not, what would you like to do differently?
· Do that :). And then keep doing it every time you realize what your mind is up to. If anxiety pops into your mind, can you transform it through gratitude?
Remember, as with any behavior transformation, this will take patience and practice. Be kind to yourself as you walk the path of change. You will forget. You will revert. It will happen. That’s totally fine. You can take pulses of your progress by noticing any changes in how your company is functioning, or simply ask for input from those around you — see if they have noticed any shifts in you or the way things run. Just keep paying attention to how you manage and share your energy, and over time, you’ll be able to express it in a way that aligns with your vision and essence.
